Quarantine
by TigerLily888
Summary: Crack fic. Some members of the BAU have been exposed to a potentially fatal virus. But which ones? And more importantly, how? Not actual slash. Oneshot.


**So this fic is a result of my Chicago Hope marathon viewing. This happened in one of the episodes so I can't take any credit for the plot. And this is really a crack fic, so please give me some leeway, it's something new for me. Mild suggestion of slash.**

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_This story is a work of fiction by an amateur writer and is for entertainment purposes only. The writer is in no way associated with Criminal Minds nor anyone connected to the program. No Copyright infringement is intended and no monetary compensation has been received by the creation of this story._

_All publicly recognized characters and storylines are owned by The Mark Gordon Company, Paramount/Viacom, Touchstone Television, CBS Television Studios, ABC Studios, and their related entities._

_All original characters, settings and/or storylines are Copyright protected. Any duplication or distribution of this story, in whole or in part, expressly prohibited without written consent of the Author._

* * *

"Morgan? What's the urgency? And why couldn't you say it over the phone?"

Dave walked into the BAU conference room, eyebrows lifting to his hairline at the sight of an unusually anxious looking Morgan.

He immediately came over. "You know that lab technician from the CDC, the one we originally thought was the UnSub?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I just got a call from the CDC. Apparently she's infected with some crazy new African virus!" The younger man looked freaked out.

"Okay, okay, let's calm down and take a breath. What did the CDC say?" Dave put a reassuring hand on his team mate's shoulder.

"They said someone from their office will be here within the hour and that those of us that have been in contact with the woman need to segregate ourselves in a room. Rossi, for God's sake, we were breathing the same air she was breathing in that interrogation room. For almost two hours!" Morgan ran his hand over his head.

"Let's not panic just yet. What else were you told?" Dave kept his voice steady.

"I asked what the fatality rate is, and they said it was fifty percent. Oh God, I thought when I go I'd be taken out by a bullet, not die from some monkey-derived disease bleeding from every orifice."

Dave suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. "Morgan, will you calm the hell down. No one is dying. Although if you keep going with the drama queen act, I might have to rethink that statement. Now, did anyone else from the team come into contact with her?"

"No." Morgan started to pace up the room, then back down. He suddenly halted. "Oh _shit_."

"Oh shit?" Shit was not a word Dave wanted to hear in this situation. "What shit?"

"The CDC said that because we could be infectious, we need to think about who we came in contact with in the last three days. The virus can be passed on through bodily fluids and is airborne."

Dave squinted as he thought rapidly. "Nope. I'm good. I spent the rest of Friday in my office finishing my reports and on the weekend I was indoors drafting my new novel." He grinned devilishly at his colleague. "What happened? You went clubbing and kissed a roomful of ladies?"

"No!" Morgan groaned loudly and dropped his head back. "Worse."

_Worse?_ Dave was afraid to ask.

The younger profiler picked up the phone in the centre of the table. "Yeah, it's me. Can you come up to the conference room?"

When he saw the person step into the conference room, Dave was literally stunned speechless.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" asked Reid, a questioning look on his face as he smiled at the two men in the room.

* * *

"I might, uh, have a virus." Morgan had a painful expression on his face as he uttered this statement.

Reid gaped at Morgan while Dave stared at the both of them.

"WHAT?"

"The suspect Rossi and I were interviewing last Friday. Turns out she has some African virus."

"Please tell me this is one of your pranks, Derek."

Dave bit his lip. _Derek? _

Morgan sighed and sank down on one of the faux leather chairs. "No, Reid, this is not a joke."

"B..but was she infectious when you interviewed her? And how do you know you were definitely exposed? And who else has been quarantined? What about the CDC?"

"We'll answer all your questions in a moment, Reid," said Dave. "But first, how were you exposed?" He too, sat down and looked with interest at his two younger colleagues. "What, you shared a drink? Kissed the same girl?" He grinned. "Slept together?"

At the awkward silence that followed, his mouth dropped open. "You slept with each other?"

"_NO!_ Hell no!" cried out Morgan.

"Well...um...what he's trying to say is...uh...we're not sure," muttered Reid, his cheeks flaming.

"You're not sure," repeated Dave slowly. "Are you kidding?"

"Derek challenged me to a drinking match Friday night and uh...neither of us remember what happened after the cab dropped us off at my place."

"But what made you think you might have..." Dave paused, grimacing. "You know what, I really don't want to know. There are some things that are best left unsaid."

Morgan leaned across the table towards him. "Rossi, don't you dare tell anyone else why Reid is here. I swear to God, I will kill you if word gets out!"

"You mightn't have to," answered Dave dryly. At his team mate's threatening look, he held up his hands in surrender. "Fine, fine. Now who else do you need to call." He gave Morgan a look. "Notice that was a statement. Not a question."

* * *

"_Derek Anthony Morgan. What the hell have you done to me_?" screeched Garcia as two men in yellow bubble suits deposited her in the now sealed conference room. Half an hour ago, the CDC had arrived and moved the other staff to another section of the floor, as well as placing an air-tight seal on the conference door. A CDC officer had also conducted a preliminary interview with the three men in the room.

Garcia was the first 'casualty' of that interview.

Dave grinned and leaned back in his chair at her entrance. This enforced quarantine was going to be much more entertaining than he had thought.

The tech analyst marched up to the dark-skinned profiler. "Well? Explain yourself."

Morgan gave her a weak smile. "Baby girl, you know I would never knowingly put you at risk."

She crossed her arms and glared at him. "I repeat. What. Have. You. Done."

"I might have a virus."

"He doesn't mean a flu virus," piped up Reid from the end of the table.

Dave stifled a laugh at the furious look Morgan shot him.

Garcia looked at Reid. "You think?" Her voice was overly sweet.

"Sweetheart, I'm sure this is nothing to worry about," said Morgan in a reassuring voice.

"Damn it, I knew me having rebound sex with you, my bff, was a bad, bad, _bad_ idea," moaned the blonde woman, sinking into the chair next to him.

Dave coughed into his hand at Reid's gasp.

"_What!_ You slept with Garcia, too?" said Reid.

Garcia swung her head between Morgan and Reid. "What do you mean 'too'. You mean you...you...with..."

"Look, baby girl, I can explain. Nothing happened I swear, we just had a couple of drinks and..."

"A couple of drinks my ass!" exclaimed the tech analyst. "I'm going to kill you!"

"All right, all right, let's all calm down – " interjected Dave.

"Shut up Rossi!" yelled Garcia and Morgan simultaneously.

Before anyone else could say anything the door to the room slammed shut.

* * *

"JJ?" asked Garcia, looking incredulously at the newcomer.

Everyone's eyes swung to Morgan.

"Hey! It wasn't me!" he protested loudly, looking cross. "Come on, I do not cross the line when it comes to married women. Almost married women," he amended.

JJ joined them at the conference table, taking a seat between next to Dave.

"Well, if it wasn't our resident Dudley-Do-Everyone, how were you exposed JJ?" asked Dave, reaching out and pouring her a glass of water.

JJ raised her eyebrows but seemed to decide to hold her questions. "Oh, Reid came over to our place for dinner and movie on Saturday night while Will and Henry are away visiting his family. We shared some popcorn. I'm here as a precaution, really." She took a sip of her water and looked up.

Dave turned around when her face brightened at the sight of the person approaching the room.

"Emily!" JJ and Garcia jumped up from their chairs and ran to hug the ex-profiler. Emily had left the BAU two months ago to join the State Department. Change of scenery, she claimed. Dave suspected there was another reason.

"Hi girls. Who knew I was going to see you both so soon after Friday night." Emily beamed at Dave who had stood up to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"It's good to see you, Emily. Although I would have preferred it was under better circumstances."

The brunette winked at the other two male profilers and sank down on the seat next to Reid with a sigh. "I'd say. But this is totally my fault. I knew I shouldn't have drunk so much Friday night."

Dave frowned. "Wait, I thought you were out with JJ and Penelope, how were you exposed?"

"I _was_ out with them. When the girls left, I hung around for a bit to finish my drink then bumped into Morgan and Reid." She made a face. "Morgan double dog dared me to tongue him. You know how I can never say no to double dog dares."

"Derek, you man-ho!" yelled Garcia angrily.

"Now, come on, baby girl..."

"I second Garcia, you libertine," hissed Reid, looking equally furious.

"No need to get worked up, people. Morgan really isn't as good as you think he should be. All I got left with was a feeling of ickiness and a possible case of fatal African flu. Thanks ex-partner," said Emily sarcastically.

"That's good to know about Morgan's 'expertise'," interjected Dave, unable to help himself. "I was starting to feel a little left out."

JJ laughed. "Yeah, me too."

The door opened again and another person stepped in.

* * *

Dave knew he really shouldn't be surprised by now. But he was. "Hotch? What the hell are you doing here?"

Their Unit Chief took the last vacant seat between Garcia and JJ. "I was exposed to the virus."

Dave rolled his eyes. "Obviously. But _how_ were you exposed?"

Hotch's face was impassive. "I slept with Morgan on Friday night. Or it could have been Reid. Or both. I'm not sure. I was pretty drunk."

Morgan spewed out the mouthful of water he had just drunk, spraying the surface of the table.

Dave's eyebrows hitched up at when Hotch smiled a rare smile.

"Sorry, that was a joke. Emily came over yesterday and helped me hide some easter eggs for Jack when he gets back from visiting his grandparents tomorrow."

Dave's eyes narrowed. There was something different about their team leader. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on. "You and Emily. Hiding easter eggs. Aaron, come on. No one's going to believe that."

"It's true. It was the chocolate. That's why Hotch is here. Sorry about yesterday by the way," said Emily, giving the Unit Chief an apologetic smile.

"No apologies required," replied Hotch, returning her smile. "In fact, I should be thanking you. Thank you, Emily." His voice was soft.

"The pleasure's all mine."

Dave and the rest of their team watched in amazement at the knowing look that the brunette couple shared. _Chocolate, my ass_, thought Dave.

This time, when the door opened, everyone's jaw dropped simultaneously.

"Don't look at me," said Morgan, a split second later.

"Or me," squeaked Reid.

"Calm down, agents." Strauss looked around the table. "I'm here to tell you that the CDC has carried out further tests and the suspect has nothing more serious than a common cold. So you are all free to go."

There were loud cheers as relief swept through the room.

"Well, that was fortuitous," said Dave to their Section Chief after everyone else had left.

She smiled at him as they walked out together. "I know. I was on the way here to be quarantined when I got the call. So, see you again this Friday?"

Dave winked at her. "It's a date."

* * *

**I hope that was somewhat amusing :) I would really appreciate if you can leave me a review if you are able. I plan to write Hotch and Emily's chocolate encounter at some stage. So watch out for that!**


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